Post-Birthday Post -- or rather, Book

Well, so begins my second day of being 24. Yes, I do feel a year older. Jaclyn made a really good point yesterday - She always feels a year older when alot has happened in that year to grow and mature her both in life situation and maturity. I think she is completely right. And I think I have several huge reasons to feel older. Celebrating one year of marriage, moving across the country to a whole new life, new job for Matt, and becoming parents. Yep. I definitely feel 24. And I think it's a good age to be for where we're at in life. Now for Matt to join me in May... :-P

Yesterday was a good day all around. It started with sleeping in an hour later than usual while Matt had his own breakfast and study. Then he came and cuddled with me for a while before he had to get ready for school. A perfect way to start the day in my opinion. Nothing like a golden room being lit up by morning sun and relaxing in the arms of the one you love. ::sigh of relaxation:: I laid in bed awake for a whole hour more as I talked with my mom and Autumn, both calling with birthday wishes. One began with a big Happy Birthday! and the other began with a smile-inducing rendition of the Happy Birthday Song by Autumn and three little munchkins. Yes, I got out of bed to see Matt out the door. I'm not THAT lazy on my birthday! :-)

I then had a wonderful oatmeal, strawberries, and coffee breakfast as I began my morning chat with Jaclyn. It was just me and her all morning long. No one else was online. No one called. It was very special to me to have that undistracted time with her on my birthday. Not that I don't enjoy talking to others, but it almost felt like we were out to coffee or something. So much fun! It only continued the perfect way my day started. But alas, she can't stay at work forever!

I had a good healthy lunch of a turkey sandwich with my favorite trimmings - cheese, lettuce, and tomato. With some healthy flax seed infused blue corn tortilla chips. Caught some TV, though there really wasn't much on. Lost Fans - Did you know the images in the black smoke during its stare down with Eko were scenes from Eko's past??? Him holding his brother, the man he killed when he was young, a crucifix, and a woman we haven't been introduced to yet. Crazy!

Anyway, then I went and got all comfy in bed again and read more of Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I'll be sad when I turn the page and there is no more! A couple hours later I finally got around to getting ready for our birthday outing -- doctor's appointment (shouldn't it be the patient's appointment?), Olive Garden, and birthday gift shopping.

Doctor's Appointment - Oh...my...word. It was SO pleasant this time around! Perhaps we finally broke through the barrier with each other? It was the first normal, routine visit I've had. For those who knew I *sadly* gained 8 pounds over December, I managed to LOSE 1/2 pound in the last two weeks. Praise the Lord! Everything is perfectly fine and healthy with both Judah and I. Dr. Goodwein always asks if I have any questions, and I said no yesterday. He said, "You are just too calm for a first timer." :-) I did eventually ask his thoughts on epesiotomes and epidurals...and boy was he talkative. But his coutnenance was so pleasant the whole time. This doctor is truly the one I needed, regardless of how indifferent and gruff Matt and I thought him to be. Again, praise the Lord! I see him again in two weeks...and then *drum roll* I begin seeing him every week. That means the time is REALLY getting close now!

Olive Garden - Tasty. Need I say anything else? We had such a wonderful waitress. She reminded me alot of Jodee Upchurch in her casual, friendly, and servant's heart attitude. Though she was not quite as bubbly and outspoken as dear Jodee. ;-) And I have concluded that you know you truly have a grown-up taste when tiramisu is the heaven of desserts to your taste buds. ::sigh:: Could I have a-nuther, puh-lease? Richly coffeed soft lady fingers with such creamy marscapone dusted with decadent fine chocolate... ::snaps and comes to::

Birthday Gift Shopping - Ok. I have a deeply rooted issue with spending money on completely frivolous things that are for myself. It really is a serious problem. I was intending to get some practical but pretty clothing ::ahem:: but was not impressed with the colors/patterns available. Lerner was having an AMAZING SHAZAAMING sale, and we looked around for a while in there...even contemplating getting a pair of nice cords for $10 in the size I wish to be after losing weight post-pregnancy. And there was a cute blue sweater for only $12! I wasn't sure about having "Goal Pants" because people always warn against losing weight to fit into a specific piece of clothing, and Matt didn't really like the style of the sweater. He did come up with the great idea...ALL his idea and I am impressed...of having a jar post-pregnancy and a weekly weigh in. He said for every pound I lose, he'll put $3 in the jar for a new clothes. So if I lose 50 lbs (including the weight I lose during delivery such as baby, etc.), that's $150! I could do alot with that! So we went to JCPenney's to look at necklaces since I was only able to find one at Christmas. Enter my deeply rooted issue.

A necklace is PURE ADORNMENT and nothing more. Yes, nice clothes are not necessary. We could wear cheap clothing and have the need for covering met. But I feel that we as Christians are to look presentable while fulfilling our need for clothing. Clothes are not PURE adornment. They are a necessity with the option of being adornment. A necklace? Useless. A pretty thing to hang around your neck and nothing more. Do people wear them for themselves or so others will notice? If I wear a necklace that is trendier than my classic silver simple jewelry, what will others think? Will they think I am trying to fit in and/or be noticed? Will they notice my necklace and not me? Couldn't $12 be spent on something that is pretty AND practical? Why does it seem like such a waste to spend it on a necklace?

Those are just a FEW of the questions Matt and I discussed while I contemplated the necklace I found that I think is beautiful but is SO not anything like what I own or wear right now. I always buck the trend. I love being considered classy and sophisticated with an edge...remember my wedding? Tradition with twist? Well, this necklace is all twist with no tradition. Matt brought up the FACT that I spent more time deciding on this necklace than I did on the bed frame and dresser...and the necklace is only a drop in the bucket compared to what we paid for the furniture. He is right. And I saw how silly I was being. But it truly is HARD for me. Jaclyn understands. She's got a big mother of pearl butterfly necklace she branched out with. Matt ended up telling me to just get the necklace (it is a birthday gift after all so it's ok if it's frivolous) and try it on with the outfits I had in mind. If I didn't like it, I could take it back. So, I got it. It does look good with the outfits I had in mind. I just hope I can pull it off as well as some other people can with this kind of trend going on (Aut, you'd look awesome in it!). Matt assured me it's ok to change styles! Everyone does it. I don't know if I want to completely change my style, but it would be nice to let down my hair and be a little funkier once in a while. :-)

I like it best with the two short necklaces off of the pendant one. I'm going to see about getting some hooks for the other two necklaces...so I'd have three necklaces out of one with several combination options.

Then we finally got home to find my annual birthday flowers from my mom. Ahh, so nice to have fresh flowers inside our home. Is there anything more refreshing, serene, and joyful at the same time? They are purple and yellow flowers of various varieties in a clear purple square vase. (For some reason I can't get the picture from the camera to the computer even though I just did it with the necklace pictures. I'll keep working on that.) Matt worked on homework while I messed around with taking pictures of my necklace. And Jaclyn called to SAY Happy Birthday rather than type it. A good way to end the day just like it started! Then...I got back to reading Redeeming Love until bed time.

And tonight, we're having Rich & Diane and Kim & Moses over for dinner/Bible study. And since my mentor group suprised me with a birthday cake on Tuesday...we get birthday cake for dessert! Matt and I have done very well not to cut into it yet! Thanks for letting me share my day! Birthdays seem to get less people filled and more relaxing the older I get. Eventually though, I'd like to have a party again!

Don't forget to read my other blog The Sanctifying Truth as well as Faulty Double Helix, both links are at the left. I hope you all have a wonderful Friday and good weekend!

I've Finally Done It

Bright ideas sometimes come when you least expect them. Not to add to your blogging world or anything, but I have created a new blog. This blog will be for life events and pictures while the new one will be much more personal and practical.

www.sanctifyingtruth.blogspot.com

It's more for my benefit than anyone else's...but I know we ALL can benefit from what I will be posting about. Also, note the new links I've put up to my blog and three new ones.

Bed update - So, they came to deliver our new bed and dresser last Thursday. Guess what! We have an Eastern King, not a California King. :-P So the rails for the frame were too narrow and too long. So they left the dresser (thank you!) and the headboard is leaning against the wall with our mattress on the floor in front of it. The footboard is leaning against another wall. But even still! It looks worlds better and we are THOROUGHLY enjoying having a headboard rather than a wall to lean against. It makes it feel like a real bedroom. Imagine that. They said it would take about two weeks for the new rails to come in, so maybe in another week. It gives me time to repair our dust ruffle...I sew up one rip and then find another one, then another. Very odd, but at least it is fixable!

Tomorrow is...a busy day. ;-) We might have the car washed. Then we have another Dr. Goodwein appointment. Then dinner at Olive Garden. Tradition! 24 seems kinda old to me. But the closer tomorrow has gotten, the younger 24 seems. I'm glad!

Ok, gonna eat lunch now and finish chatting with Jaclyn. She's such a trap! I wanted to nap like two hours ago. But alas, she is irresistable! I can nap and clean the house in one afternoon right? YES!

Cory James Christopher Savary

It's startling to wake up to a phone call from your mom telling you that one of your cousins died unexpectedly during the night. Cory had been dealing with pneumonia, and it got the better of him.

Cory just turned 19 on Jan 7. I remember when he was little, you couldn't really communicate with him and he was not the most disciplined child. He was afflicted with autism and a few other things.

But that was then. As he grew older, and especially after being provided with the perfect care, he was only affected -- not afflicted.

This morning, Matt and I continued to lay in bed after I finished the call with my mom. I started thinking back over Cory's life, and could not help but smile and be in awe at how far he had come. He was night and day from the child he used to be. You could ask him questions, and he would understand and answer. He could tell you what he wanted, needed, or was excited about. His affection was very sweet and only increased in frequency and tenderness with age...though his hugs could still be bone crushing at times! His ability to do tasks became tremendous! I remember after Christmas dinner watching him faithfully clear the table. Not just a few things. He helped until the job was finished! I got very nervous when he picked up my mom's Christmas china gravy boat filled with gravy to carry it to the kitchen. There was no reason for me to be nervous -- he handled it perfectly. That's when I found out he'd actually been busing tables as a job in Conway where he lived (30 min from LR). Astounding!

I see it as God's grace in his life. Only with God's help and through His will was Cory able to overcome the mental blocks life had given him. It is God who provided the perfect circumstances for Cory to be able to live in Conway at a place he could thrive at. The perfect people to teach him skills and discipline. The perfect family who faithfully loved him and brought him home to LR for weekend vacations and family affairs -- to remind him he had a family that loved him dearly. It would be very easy for those like Cory to be overlooked and left by the wayside. But that was not God's plan for Cory's life. He is a precious part of our family; and, though he was just one person, he altered the dynamic of our family life.

I have a few fun memories of Cory:

~As I've said before, his bone crushing hugs! I am glad that Judah got squished by Cory at least once, though it did make me nervous to be hugged so hard while being pregnant!

~His insatiable love of toy snakes. He loved them and I think got them EVERY Christmas, birthday, or whatever gift-giving day in the year there is! I remember times when he'd pretend that one on the floor was real...or actually mistake it for being real. It was funny to participate with him (unless your realized his fear was real!).

~His tears whenever a saxophone would play. The first time I learned that he would lose it like a woman when a sax was heard was when the whole family was at Riverfront Park in LR for the 4th of July fireworks. The band started playing a slow blues-jazz selection, and he just started weeping. I believe it was Nonie who explained to me that he cried whenever a sax would play. I told Matt this morning that I STILL wonder what it was inside Cory that impacted him so greatly to hear that one particular instrument.

~His affection for Janet. Janet is a trooper! Not only did she immediately gain two sons when she married Skip, but she gained a son that had special needs. I remember watching her struggle to learn how to interact with him. It has been wonderful to watch their relationship grow and develop as Cory matured mentally and as Janet matured spiritually/maternally. It was precious to watch Cory always patting Janet's back, hugging her with BIG hugs, kissing her cheeks with wet kisses. I wonder just how much of his heart was taken up with love for her. :-) The picture above is of Janet helping Cory open his Christmas gift.

~His affection for...anyone! He always had a hug ready for any person that even minutely gestured for one.

~His facial expressions. Though he could not express every thought using words, you could totally tell what he was thinking. I think my favorite face of his was "Aww, come on" look which is similar to a rolling of the eyes. He'd look up and to the side while slightly closing his eyelids and give a pronounced sigh.

This being the first time a close member of the Savary side of the family has passed on has brought up quite the array of thoughts and feelings inside me. It is hard to be so far from home and family that it seems impossible (and probably is) for me to fly home, be with them, and attend the funeral. So many questions have run through my mind as well. The very FIRST thing I thought when I hung up with my mom was, "So can Nonie and Gramps still say they have 24 grandchildren?" I know the answer is yes. And I can still say I have 12 cousins (if I counted correctly). It just seems to make it a little more awkward, for lack of a better word.

And one of my more precious thoughts that creates in me a gentle grief all it's own is that I will only be able to teach Judah about Cory. I will only be able to give him the memories that I have of a cousin he can not see, but was hugged by.

It feels different to know that we are missing a member of the Slew. We are the closest family I have ever ever known -- and now we are down by one. A great reminder that life is fragile, and though we seem to be an invincible example of a family who adores each other, it doesn't mean all of us will be called Home at the same time.

Lucky duck. Maybe instead of clearing, he'll have the table set for all of us when we get there -- complete with rubber snake place cards and some soft jazz background music.

Copying Autumn...

Thirteen Things I look forward to with OUR NEW FAMILY 1. Judah's first smile. 2. Seeing Judah's eyes looking at Matt and I. 3. Watching Matt hold Judah in the mornings when he's dressed in his business attire. (He already pretended with a teddy bear and blanket we have in the crib right now. It was adorable!) 4. Laying down in our bed with Judah between us and playing with him. 5. The moments Matt and I will look in on Judah together as he sleeps. 6. Showing off our bundle of joy to our new church family. 7. The challenge of learning how to care for my own baby -- esp. learning which cry means what. 8. Catching Matt asleep with Judah cuddled on his chest. 9. Catching myself asleep with Judah cuddled on my chest. 10. Smelling that sweet baby scent...and realizing it's my own baby that smells that way. 11. The new dynamic Judah will create for mine and Matt's marriage. It has already brought us closer. I can already tell that I am still first to Matt, and he is still first to me. And both of us are more in awe of what God is doing with our lives. 12. The challenge of getting my body back with Matt's encouragement and Judah's willingness to live outside of me...and help "nurse" my body back! :-) 13. All the other firsts that will come later on -- giggles, picnics in the park, crawling, walking, babbling, talking, discovering hands and feet, play dates, cute toddler clothes...the list is endless as you moms know!

Pray Before You Study

I was reading in Ecclesiastes a few morning ago after Matt left the bed to do his own morning study, and I realized that I really have come to enjoy using Matt's Bible for study and mine for just reading. But he took his Bible for that particular morning's study. So I decided to meditate on what the truth of God's Word does for us in our walk since I had reached a passage in Ecclesiastes that was nigh impossible to interpret on my own. I started reading Psalm 119 and marking the verses that were the desire of my heart. I came to the one part of the chapter that many people know by heart. But this time it struck me anew. What a PERFECT prayer for me to offer up each time I am about to study His Word. I have had a growing desire lately to really know Scripture, to understand what I read rather than just read. I want to retain its principles. I have thought more about how it is Truth that sanctifies us. It is the Word that lets us know more of Who God is. The more we know of Him, the more we know of ourselves...and the more we are put in our proper place. It is the Word that makes us more sensitive to our sin -- something I also desire more of right now.

This is my new prayer, one I hope will occur every morning from now on. I'm even making book marks with this passage on it for Matt and I.

Psalm 119:33-40

(ESV version)

Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes; and I will keep it to the end.

Give me understanding, that I may keep Your law and observe it with my whole heart.

Lead me in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it.

Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!

Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in Your ways.

Confirm to Your servant Your promise, that You may be feared.

Turn away the reproach that I dread, for Your rules are good.

Behold, I long for Your precepts; in Your righteousness give me life!

9 days into the New Year

...and I'm just now posting. Oh, I've had time lately, just not motivation. It's one of those situations where you have SO much you want to post, you just don't have the energy to sit and create posts! I think I may work on several and save them as drafts to post throughout this week. I get so afraid people will miss posts if I continually post! So for my peace of mind I will say, check back often! Especially this week!

::singing:: Sunrise, sunset. Sunriiise, sunset. That was the theme of our return trip. We saw the sunrise on a plane. We saw the sunset on a plane. This is why. (And the pic is the sunrise. we didn't get the camera out fast enough for the even more incredible sunset.)

We got home safely (obviously). But safely does not mean easily! We left Little Rock Monday Jan 2 around 7:00 am. Got to Chicago...after what seemed to be an enormously long decent through incredible clouds. Why a "long" decent? Because the clouds were SO tall! I timed how long it took for the wheels to touch the ground from the time we first glimpsed the ground...30 seconds exactly. Never seen Chicago weather before. Don't know if I want to again. It was POURING down rain when we boarded our next plane. We sit for a while. Pilot says the hydrolics are being checked, a part being ordered, the wait will be at the very least an hour. We know we will miss our flight in Orange County. We get off with the rest of the passengers, change our flight from OC to San Jose and walk around. We board the plane again, sooner than expected (hurrah), and sit for a bit longer. The plane taxis to the runway and we sit...and sit...and sit...as it pours outside. Pilot says "When it rains it pours" and informs us we have to wait for planes to take off one at a time and pick their way through the weather. We look to the right across the runway. There are 15 planes waiting over there. We are second in line on our side. Each side takes turns, right? No. All 15 planes take off before us...about 10 minutes apart. We miss our re-booked flight in OC. We FINALLY arrive at OC airport and ask around about what we are supposed to do. We go down and outside to an annex building where commuter flights go to San Jose. The door is "locked" so we go all the way back up to the main terminal and find someone to help us. Apparently someone had booked us while we were in the air for a flight that was supposed to be taking off that very moment...but hadn't yet! So we argue with the lady about the "locked" door to find out you don't have to turn the handle, just pull the door open. Duh. So we run back to the annext building (fastest I've moved this whole pregnancy), PULL the door and make the flight. Praise God Moses was able to still pick us up in San Jose. But did our luggage make it with us? Nope. It came later that night and was delivered two days later. Truly the hardest day of flying I've ever had. And yes, pregnancy had something to do with that -- protein bars CAN get you through a day, but they get old after a while and sitting for that long isn't the best feeling in the world. I'd rather have the customs issue comeing back from Guatemala than a day like that again.

After having a few weeks to decide what to do with Matt's re-location bonus (totally unexpected provision from the Lord!!!), we went out looking for a bed frame. And found it in only a few hours. Ashley Furniture here was having a remodeling sale, so we decided to give them a shot (they are usually quite pricy you know). They had several beds in there we loved...but then we saw one that we loved AND was the price range we saw with online deals. We walked around one more time and came back to it and still loved it. We chatted over price...and God gave us quick wisdom. It is wiser to get the matching dresser (that was also a good price) than a sewing machine because sewing machines are always available, improving, and lowering in cost. Matching dressers are hard to find years down the road. Matt was able to get $400 knocked off the total cost of bed and dresser. I'd post the link....but I think I will wait until I can post real pictures of it with our bedding and such. I'm awaiting a call from them to set up delivery this week. It'd be SO cool if I could suprise Matt with it since he's got several long school days this quarter!

I wake up every morning now and smile just thinking about having a REAL bed instead of just a mattress on the floor. I told Matt it's like we're going to be OFFICIAL parents now. We have a big bed that our kiddos will be able to climb up on when Saturday morning rolls around so we can cuddle and laugh as a family. I guess it's part of what I consider the "American Ideal" for a family. Parents who have a nice big beautiful bed. Thank you, Lord, for ONCE AGAIN providing for our desires...however silly they may be!

Meanwhile, Matt and I have decided to get the last of the desired decorating done, mainly hanging frames. It's is SO amazing the transformation that takes place when you put stuff on the walls. It makes a place look truly lived in and cared for. I will post pictures of this project when I post pictures of our new bed and dresser. So I guess a Home Update is up and coming.

AND...without further ado... We had another Judah appointment and ultrasound last week. Dr. Goodwein was able to get some good 3-D shots of Judah. He said that Judah is DEFINITELY still a boy, which was comforting. Judah, again, kept his hands and arms (and legs and feet this time) up by his face. But Dr. Goodwein had a bag of tricks he used to get satisfactory pictures. Everything is still going swell, though I need to be careful from here on out with how much weight I gain. I'm already at the upper end of what is normal to gain. My main concern is that I want my body to be quick to return to normal as soon as I have Judah rather than have so much weight to lose and muscle to tone that it takes FOREVER. Pray for me as I try to be disciplined! Here are the pictures... and explanations in case you can't make out his form.

This is a profile shot. You can see his upper arm extending from the lower left hand corner, bending at the elbow, and his forearm and hand verticle in the center of the picture. To the left of his forearm is his head. The black area is his brain cavity with his forehead the lovely curve touching his hand. The "indentation" black area next to his wrist is his eye, and his chubby cheek is below that cradled in the crook of his arm. To the right of his elbow is his bent knee with his lower leg extending towards the right of the picture.


Again, his head is in the upper left of this picture. Forehead slopes down to darker area which is his closed eye. The line extending down from the dark area is his chubby cheek. His nose is a little distorted but is to the right of his eye, and his lips are below his nose (duh). His entire leg and foot is on the right side of the picture, with his flexed foot at the top. For those who are really good at interpreting this photo, you will notice the light colored curl between his toes and forehead -- those are curled fingers.



This was the best shot of all of little Judah's face. His head is still on the left side, but the angle is more frontal so you can see more of his face rather than a profile. In the very center of the picture is a triangular shaped object, that's his little nose (that I claim is Matt's!). To the left of his nose is his closed eye, down to his chubby cheek, and his sweet lips are below his nose followed by his chin. His arm and hand extend up over the right side of his face next to his nose, the hand resting on his forehead. I really hope you all can see it! These are simply amazing!


My appointments have now moved to every two weeks rather than once a month...a marker to me that the time really is approaching! My next one is actually on my birthday...Jan 19. I think more often now about the reality of giving birth to a child (and what the pain will be like) as well as the reality of actually having a child that is my own. One that I can not give back. One that I will be responsible for 24/7. These are not bad thoughts to me...just major reality checks I am grateful God is giving me now instead of when the moment comes! And it is SO fun to see Matt's eagerness for Judah to be out and in his arms to play with and cuddle. I thank God for a husband like Matt. He is perfect for me! We start our childbirth classes tomorrow evening, and my one-time breastfeeding class is on Saturday. I am hoping this will help our perspective on the coming events become more focused and even more realistic.

Mid-Holiday Post

I must say, a 2.5 week vacation feels WONDERFUL but a little odd at the same time. I came home for Christmas from California four times while in college and stayed several weeks. But this time, I came home from California with a husband for a couple weeks. I guess it's just odd because I'm not in school nor do I have a job to go back to. I just get to live life in a different spot with a husband. :-)

It's been quite busy too, compared to what I am used to. Autumn and Andy and the kiddos got here the same day we did. So it's been a community of 10 people living together in one house. I'm thankful my parents' house is big enough to accomidate us all...quite nicely at that! The bed Matt and I claimed has actually been quite good for my back and joints. I think it's the foam layer on top. Firm but gently cradles me. Oh, and I can't forget to mention the four pillows I sleep with and the husband I sometimes use as a body pillow in addition to those. :-P

It has been SO AMAZING to see Matt with the three kids. I am convinced now that we MUST have a daughter someday (Please, Lord!). He is simply adorable to watch with an even more adorable Hailey. He makes her (and the boys, too) giggle whenever they play together. He's got so much energy to fly them, horse around, play video games, snuggle, tickle, and the list could go on. We've never been around kids together for this much time. I consider it a blessing from God to have seen my husband's temprament with children just a couple months before we have one of our own. ::sigh:: I love Matt. End of story.

Speaking of our own...Judah's growing and I think I have too. :-P I still haven't put myself back on my parents' scale since we got here. Probably cause it makes me nervous. The eatin' has been good! I've been able to help with dinner most nights and expose my family to some of the dishes I cook for Matt and I. It's been cool to see what it would be like to cook for a family of 10. Double the food...and the flexibility!

We got quite blessed at the baby shower Rachel threw. An extra suitcase home is in order! (That's Diane, the lady who did the devotional.) Judah has been getting stronger as he grows. His kicks have become so strong when he's most active, that more than just my belly moves. Matt even "felt" a kick when he was just sitting next to me! I've also had a couple times where I'd be laying on my side and Judah (as usual) has used the bed as a trampoline. But now he has started pushing up against the bed so that I feel him on both sides of my belly. He pushes and holds, and if I gently push back he'll immediately recoil. I hope I'm not scaring him, but it's been the first...um...human to human interaction with him (for lack of a better way to explain it). Action and reaction between two human beings? Whatever. It's been awesome. Take my word for it!

Matt and I are thinking about going to spend our Kohl's gift cards today to get some date time. I'ts been totally fun being with so much family all the time, but we all have to admit it is not something Matt and I are used to! Matt is the only person I interact with 5 or 6 days a week on average, and I don't usually do much except for household tasks everday. When our plane hit the runway here, our feet didn't stop running. It's been a lovely change of pace, but one that my pregnant body has been exhausted by! And, when you're used to so much time alone with just your hunny...you miss it even when life is 10 times as lively as usual!

I know I'm going to have people withdrawals once we get back home, though. I've got plenty of options for activity here. Remind me what I did all day when I was at home?

Random list to keep having text in this post so you will be sure to see all the pictures:

I got my hair cut as a non-Christmas gift from my mom. I wish I could have Glynn at the snap of my fingers. There is nothing like 100% trust in the person who cuts your hair. I LOVE my new cut. It's definitely shorter, but I think it looks great and it is easy or complext to do at my own whim.

Things we got for Christmas:
1) A quilt journal with pages for pictures and explanations for all the quilts I have and will make. Hope started it for me.
2) A flip flop and flower chip and dip set from Autumn that matches our Fiestaware perfectly.
3) Giftcards to: Kohl's, Olive Garden, Starbucks, Jamba Juice, Cold Stone Creamery. Date heaven!
4) Christmas towels for our kitchen. Something I've wanted for a while now! Funny- I helped Hope pick out kitchen towels for my mom's stocking, when my mom had already gotten ME kitchen towels.
5) A GORGEOUS clear blue snowflake ornament from Hope called "Winter Fantasy" which I will henceforth name our future tree.
6) Lost, the First Season on DVD
7) Casting Crowns' Lifesong CD

Fun Christmas Survey of Self

Ok, so I've finally forced time for a quick post. Today is our last day at our new home for 2005. We get to go Home to LR tomorrow! But...I've just woken up and had breakfast. Now I need to get moving on all that's to be done today! I hope my body will forgive me eventually. Last night was my first time to discover what grinding lower vertebrae feel like. It's not excrutiatingly painful, but it certainly is NOT comfortable. And this morning it was quite painful to turn over and get out of bed. But I love my little Judah. I realized I've forgotten about him a lot the past few days because we've been so busy with getting ready to leave. It always makes me wonder how a pregnant woman could forget at times throughout the day that she is pregnant. It becomes second nature somehow to have a whole other human being inside of you! :-P I bet it will be weird to not have one in me anymore come March. By the way, welcome me to my final trimester!

I had this typed up previously to post as Christmas got closer. Enjoy!

You all gotta do this on your own blogs! Tracie did it first...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Homemade hot chocolate with big marshmallows when it's just Matt and I. Egg nog when it is combined with vanilla ice cream after decorating the tree. Those were the days!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Depends on what movie you watch, I guess. Neither in real life.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Oh, WHITE!!! But then, nothing would do for my parents' tree but colored. As much as I always thought our tree looked gaudy and wanted it different, I'd flip if it changed because it just wouldn't be "our" tree. It does look much better since it has been toned down over the years...and it is the perfect picture of a traditional tree now.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Where do you even find that stuff?

5. When do you put your decorations up? When we go somewhere for Thanksgiving, just before we leave so when we come back it is done. When we actually stay in our own home someday for Thanksgiving AND Christmas, we'll do it either the weekend after Thanksgiving or December 1st. Haven't decided yet. Can't wait to have a tree someday...

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Mashed potatoes by far and Nonie's "burn 'n' serves."

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? This memory is more of an across the years memory. I love how every Christmas we'd wake up in our Christmas pj's, have pancakes and a B-day party for Jesus, open gifts, then get cleaned up while Momma started cooking. Nonie and Gramps would always arrive first with gifts and pies around 10 or 11, then the rest of the family would trickle in. Dinner was always around 1:30 with the kids at their table and the adults all around the big table with the china and crystal. We'd feast, then laze around the rest of the day. Pie usually around 5 I think. So I guess my favorite memory as a child, and still today, is just the whole day itself and being with family.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I remember it was in the apartments in LR. I think I was about 4. Momma sat Autumn and I down and told us there was no Santa Clause. I remember not caring one bit, but if memory serves, Autumn cried.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Are we talking Little Rock's few inches that last only a few days or Evansville's few FEET that sticks around for forever? I love seeing snow. I even love to play in lots of it. But I don't love it when it shuts down civilization as we know it. And I don't like it when it gets all dirty and slushy looking.

12. Can you ice skate? Yes, but not especially well.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I don't remember a favorite but here are a few I remember well...my snow queen porcelan doll, my first Petra cd and MWS tapes, my first eye shadow, my bean bag (that we had to leave in Tyler, TX one year...no I'm not bitter), an "adopted" dolphin, and more recently the Swarovski crystal Christmas ornaments and my Pampered Chef soup pot.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? It's hard for me to say celebrating Christ's birth above what my first thought is. Each passing year I try to focus on the "reason for the season" more and more because I am older and wiser and know better. But to me, the first thought of what is most important aside from the spiritual aspect is being with family. I cherish every moment!

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pumpkin Cream Pie...and Starbucks' egg nog and peppermint flavored drinks.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Getting new Christmas pj's every year, having a pancake B-day party for Jesus, driving around to look at lights, decorating the tree to Christmas music followed with egg nog shakes.

17. What tops your tree? Tree? Well, when I HAVE one maybe we'll look for another Crown of Thorns like I gave my mom last year.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving? GIVING! Especially for the name I draw for extended family...since it's usually Nonie. I love to make things and give them rather than just buying something.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol? Secular - "I'll be Home for Christmas" by Amy Grant Spritiual - "Mary Did You Know" by Jubilant Sykes and O Come O Come Emanuel

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Doable, but usually only 1 or 2 for the holiday's sake.

As Requested

If you missed the previous post, read it first so you know why on earth I wrote this post. :-)

Tracie requested the recipe. Momma wanted me to bring some home. I want to make Jaclyn wish for them more. So here is the recipe, Tracie. Let's make some when I get there, Momma. And enjoy your nilla wafers, Jaclyn.

I love Betty...she's my kitchen's best friend. This recipe is compliments of Mrs. Crocker, with two tweaks from me!

::thinking of what to name them::

Chocomint Christmas Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup shortening
2 cups sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cream of tartar
1/8 tsp salt
3 egg yolks
1 tsp peppermint extract
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 ziploc bag

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

In a large mixing bowl beat butter and shortening with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar, baking soda, cream of tartar, and salt. Beat until combined, scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Mixture should be smooth and creamy (not very grainy). Beat in egg yolks and peppermint until combined. Beat in as much flour as you can. Stir in remaining flour.

Shape dough into 1" balls (or use a 1" cookie scoop). Place 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet or parchment lined stone. Bake for 20 minutes or until sides are set. Do not let edges brown. Cool on cookie sheet for 1 minute. Transfer to wire rack and let cool.

When cookies are cool, heat chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl for 1-2 minutes. Stir until all chips are melted and chocolate is smooth. You do not have to keep microwaving until the chips are gone. Stirring will finish the job. Fold lips of ziploc bag over to prevent messing the outside of the bag as you spoon the chocolate in. Fold lips back up and shake chocolate into one corner. Use a chip clip or rubberband to create a tight seal at the level of the chocolate. Snip a tiny hole in the corner of the bag, and pipe your decorations. Do NOT stack the cookies until you have chilled them in the refrigerator to allow the chocolate to set. To keep chocolate firm, store in regfrigerator.

Next year I will probably divide the dough in half and add red and green food coloring for more festivity. And maybe I'll coat them with chocolate and sprinkle crushed peppermint on top.

Ok, so now after all of that...I have to go eat one! And then wake Matt up so we can get to our fun afternoon!

Sweet Tidings

Yesterday was a long, busy, but fun day! Matt was at school until late in the afternoon because he had a meeting...the first of which he is not allowed to tell the details to even me! I should write a book, My Husband's Secret Life, and journal about what it is like to be the wife of a man who can't say everything he does/knows to provide for our family. :-)

It gave me lots of time to work on Christmas gifts, bake Christmas cookies, do some laundry, chat, and just do whatever. Not until I got in bed at 1:00 am last night did I realize I NEVER sat down just to sit and relax. That's not typical for me right now. But, oh what a productive day!

I'm very excited about what I am working on for family Christmas gifts. So far, Helen's (Matt's grandma) is my favorite, but Aut and Andy's was the most challenging in both decision and degree of difficulty. I spent at least 4 hours on theirs and my back and neck are still letting me know that today!

I'm also excited about the Christmas cookies. I think

we may have found our own little Esparza Christmas tradition...baking peppermint sugar cookies and drizzling chocolate Christmas designs on top to give to neighbors and friends (and ourselves!). They are simple, but very tasty! It's cool to see a sugar cookie and then get a zing of peppermint when you eat it. I think we are going to give our neighbors theirs today. It'll be fun to chat a little more with them when they are home...but I'm interested to see how giving it to the people across from us will go over. 2 men and 1 woman, all VERY business oriented and pretty reclusive compared to the family atmosphere the rest of us have.

Matt has two tests today. Tomorrow is the last day of the quarter! It's so insane to think that a week from now I'll be in the air on the way home for Christmas! ::sings I'll be home for Christmas...:: I can't WAIT!

After Matt gets home, we're going to eat lunch and take a nap (and then go get Narnia tickets for tomorrow and our Christmas pj's). I was up until 1:00 working on Aut/Andy's gift, and then crashed as Matt stayed up until 2 caulking our bathroom and killing the ants that infested our bathroom and trailed across our bedroom carpet. Last night marked the 4th day we've been battling ants. First the kitchen, then our bathroom, then the front bathroom, back to our bathroom. He's going to do some major caulking this weekend while I clean up dead ant bodies that were poisoned with the traps we have. Note to Housewives: Scrubbing Bubbles is an EXCELLENT but safe ant killer. They die instantly and are easy to wipe up, and those near the area you spray are stunned and slowly killed by the fumes. As effective as Raid, but not as toxic to you (esp. when pregnant).

So, off I go for my first nap of the day. :-P

Excitement Rising

Wow! Is it already holiday crunch time? I can't believe this is Matt's last week of his first quarter, finals being next week. 1 Quarter down, 7 to go. He's got a couple projects to fine tune, a paper to write, and several tests to take...then we can be whisked off to a LONG vacation full of family and celebration of Christ's coming and the start of a fresh new year!

I've been working on our Christmas cards today. It's so much fun! Instead of the regular cards, I found these CHEAP kits at Target that provide all you need, including envelopes. You write a Christmas letter, print it on the stationary, fold it like a tent card, and attach your 4x6 Christmas photo to the front of the card. They're quite sophisticated looking, but more personal since you can write more than "Have a good Christmas" or whatever. Tomorrow's task is getting the pictures printed and attached. Everything else is ready to go. Above is the picture we are using...we actually used the timer on our digital camera for the first time. I prayed beforehand that frustration and impatience wouldn't enter the scene as it sometimes can...and it only took us three tries to get a good picture!

In pregnancy news, apparently my pelvic bones are starting to loosen up (to match my hips and lower back) as is normal when approaching the third trimester. Autumn warned me of it. She's not kidding. It's NOT comfortable. Last night I could barely get out of bed it hurt so much to move. Thankfully, it mostly felt like pressure today rather than pain (except for when I was grocery shopping). I just keep remembering Romans 8:18--my current sufferings are not worthy to be compared to the bundle of joy that is soon to be revealed!

Just saw a picture on the news of Washington, DC's weather. Two words. Heavy snow. THOSE are the visions I get when I think of where we will be living in a couple years. Lord? Am I cut out for that kind of weather? Did You bring us to California to have us store up as much sunshine and mild weather as we can so that we can survive East Coast Winters?? :-P

And so it begins...

Well, Matt and I began the Registering Road Trip today. It is much different than registering for a wedding. With wedding stuff, you know what you want already and have lived long enough to know what brands/items are good or bad. I've never done this baby thing...and I realized today that I am quite meticulous and curious about all the stuff that's out there. I like to read all the descriptions of products and compare them with a few other brands. Matt also realized I am meticulous and curious. :-P I just want the best for Judah, as Matt does. It just takes me longer to make the decision than it does Matt. Linda is the same, so I know I am not the only woman out there that loves to read everything before you decide!

I think we're far from done, but we've certainly started up a good registry. We are currently registered at Target (with more to be added) and are planning on registering at Toys-R-Us. Boy, that looks weird without the R backwards. Target has most of the smaller, practical, necessity type items (feeding to diapering to health/safety). Toys-R-Us will be more of the toys, pack 'n' play, car seat/stroller, etc. Basically the fun stuff and the big items. That's not to say this division is set in stone. We saw a car seat at Target we really like. Argh. So many decisions!

I hope people think to look online when they start the gift buying. We decided today that we will not be using the quilt I made for the room. People apparently think babies shouldn't have brightly colored bedding -- aka NOTHING matches the Scripture quilt. So we decided that will be our multi-purpose and travel blanket. Neither Target nor Toys-R-Us had beddings sets we liked...until I looked at Target's web site. Search accomplished. I found a Safari bedding set (with room accessories available too!) that keeps with the animal/Noah's Ark theme and has brighter colors than most other bedding, though it is still pastelish soothing-like. It's adorable, and it even has a quilted look. I NEVER thought I'd go for anything close to a quilted look. Just goes to show how we change as we get older...and how silly old quilting ladies can change your taste without you knowing it.

Here is the registry page where you can look at what we've got so far.

Here is a quick link to the bedding.

So back aching, body tired, brain taxed but still wanting to scan all the goodies...we returned home to a relaxing evening of homework/reading. I finished ANOTHER book. We only bought it last Saturday. Me having fun-reading for when Matt is doing homework is proving to be a budgeting issue in my eyes. Even though I ONLY allow myself to crack the books we get when Matt has serious studying, I still finish WAY fast. Francine Rivers is just too good.

Wow. This ended up being a long post. I'm sure you understand. Sometimes a woman just needs someone to listen while she rambles. Of course I've got Matt...but he was with me the whole day, so his day was my day! And I want others to be in on it! Therefore, I ramble as I go off to empty what is apparently invading Judah's precious space. His foot is good at poinpointing my "holding tank"...or what my mom calls his "waterbed." :-)

JUDAH GABRIEL ESPARZA

God answered prayer yesterday in three ways.

1) The first thing we saw on the screen was a view that showed us God chose to give us Judah Gabriel rather than Elaina Marie.

2) Everything is perfectly normal with both Judah and myself.

3) My fears about not getting along well with Dr. G were dispelled.

The appointment went quite well yesterday. Things were very relaxed, light-hearted, and pleasant. Matt and I have decided last time was a fluke -- my nerves were way on edge and maybe Dr. G had a busy/hard day.

Dr. G spent a good long while looking at Judah and getting all the measurements, making sure everything was normal. Praise the Lord it is! He weighs 2 lbs exactly, a couple days ahead of schedule. My weight however...well, let's just say no more 5 week stints of not gaining anything. We are questioning the weight though because what the nurse told me and what I saw on the scale were different. If she is right, I'm still within the gain range though I gained 11 pounds in 4 weeks. If she is wrong, I lost 5 pounds but still have a baby that is a quite healthy weight. I hope it's the latter! :-P

Here are a few of the pictures we were given on CD. Dr. G was not able to get a good 3-D view of Judah's face, but he promised next time he will try again. I was thankful because he was bouncing my belly all around to get Judah to move...and my bladder was full! Enjoy the pictures...and no, there is NO mistaking this for a girl! Click on the pictures to enlarge!

Thanksgiving - Part Two

I know it's after Thanksgiving, but does that mean I can't finish my 2-part series? We should always be thankful!

We had a wonderful trip to Santa Clarita from Wednesday to Saturday. It was so relaxing to be with the Jensens, family away from a home that is away from blood family. :-) Linda outdid herself again with the perfect tasting traditional meal! We watched Batman Begins since they had never seen it. Then on Friday, I got to go shopping with Linda...I forgot what it is like to shop with only a woman, have money to spend only on what you WANT, and not be pressed for time. I got my Christmas shirt and earring -- it was exactly what I had in mind! I'll post a picture as soon as I can get it taken. Both drives (down and back) were uneventful and reminded us just how beautiful northern and southern Cali are. And man alive! Has anyone ever seen a wine vinyard in the fall??? A literal SEA of gold and cranberry colored leaves. Simply gorgeous!

Here is a list of 10 things I am Thankful for:

1) God - Sounds like a pat answer. I was thinking of what adjective to use to describe Him, but I can't choose just one. I am thankful for His sovereign control, His faithfulness when I am unfaithful, His nearness even when I am not near Him, His creativity, His goodness, His love, His holiness though I can not fully grasp it. How do you even say everything you are thankful for about Him except to say...just Him?

2) Life - Sounds like another typical answer, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I LOVE the life I have been given. So full of adventure, unknowns, but with a few key stabilities (to be named later). I love the joy that wells up within me when I ponder this abundant life I have been given...I just wish I would always remember that it is because of Christ, not just because.

3) Matt - Which aspect am I most thankful for now? His best friendship. His companionship. We have so much fun together, so much time together because of his schedule. It has been amazing to watch how quickly he has learned to be the husband that God wanted him to be for me. His patience is incredible. His humor keeps me laughing (or rolling my eyes). His love keeps me warm and fuzzy. He truly is an understanding and participating husband, something I need especially right now with being pregnant.

4) Family - My theme song this Christmas is "I'll Be Home for Christmas." Talk about joy overwhelming me! I can not WAIT to see all my family, including those who went to Little Rock from Arizona and Ohio. It seems the older I get, the more I love and appreciate my family. Perhaps it is different now because my own family is increasing by one. And it is fun to have those who've known me my whole life see me pregnant and with a handsome husband. We'll miss our Indiana family -- but part of becoming one is balancing two extended families! It's a little harder than we anticipated, but we are learning that wisdom with finances/time must outweigh emotions alone.

5) Church - I think we are going to start the membership process with GBC after the first of the year. We are SO thankful for the church. Solid teaching and a close-knit fellowship that has open arms is what makes you keep going in a place where lonliness COULD be all around. I am thankful that we are being fed meat every Sunday -- right now on prayer. I am thankful for the instant friendships God blessed us with the first Sunday we were here. Now if only we can do something about that 40 minute drive one-way.

6) Old Friends - In a life that is always changing stages and locations, I am thankful to have a few old friends to count on for unconditional love. I know I am blessed and consider it a rarity to have Rachel, Thea, and Julienne as life long friends. Rachel I've known since we were 3 or 4. Julienne since first grade, and Thea since seventh. That, in my opinion, is a LONG time in this day and age...esp with Rachel. I love how the four of us can still get together at the Coffee Beanery and chat it up like old times -- laughing and teasing with memories, bringing each other up to speed on the present, and dreaming of the future. Though we don't talk often and see each other even less often, to know that I've always got three anchors to my past and steadfast friends for the future is a feeling I will never stop being thankful for.

7) Provision - Back to God...He has provided more than we need to live a comfortable life here in California. A lesson in trusting Him, stepping forward, and then seeing Him do the work. We have a beautiful apartment with all the furniture we need, including Baby's. We have plenty of good clothes. We eat quite nicely for not as much as we feared -- we even had a steak/potato/broccoli treat last night! We have an excellent car, one that I'd wanted for years even. Insurance is good all around, especially the part where having a baby is virtually free! We can't wait to see how much more thankful we will be for Provision after the baby is here, and then when we move back to Maryland.

8) Talents and Skills - I am thankful for the talents and skills God has given both Matt and I. He is such a Renaissance man. He writes, draws, thrives on education, knows so much about technology, builds models, sings, plays sports (when given the chance), and can philosophise with the best of them. There really isn't much he CAN'T do, come to think of it. God has given me the ability to sew, cook, craft, find efficient ways to perform tasks, organize...things that deal with home and family. I think God knew what He was doing when He put a man with broad horizons with a woman of focused detail together -- Matt keeps us moving and broadens our canvas while I make sure each stroke is carefully taken, creating a beautiful masterpiece that will hopefully give glory to the One who chose the brushes and colors.

9) Technology - Not only does it provide my husband with education and a job, but I am thankful for technology because it keeps me connected. Who knew the day would come when a stay-at-home wife/mother would be kept "company" by people on the other side of a computer screen? Were it not for technology, I would have lost good contact with SO many friends and family over the years and even now. Days are lonely when I don't get to say hi to my mom, sister, and a few friends. How spoiled I am. Half-day with friends and family online, then the rest with Matt at home!

10) Until next post... You all will have to wait until tomorrow or Thursday for the 10th thing I am thankful for. Some of you may know, but I'll keep you guessing! ;-)

Happy Thanksgiving! - Part One

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting!" - Pslam 136:1

Now seems to be the time for thanksgiving posts to be popping up on everyone's blogs. Tracie reflected on where she was a year ago and how much God has blessed her with since then. My mom listed 10 things she was thankful for. I think these are the top two ways we should celebrate Thanksgiving -- reflection and praise. So, without further ado...

A year ago I was a part time secretary and had been married for almost 6 months. On top of melding our lives into one, Matt and I were learning lessons of contentment, patience, and faith as we lived in a small city with only 2 good pre-marriage friends, no good church (not until January), and a hard full-time job for Matt. We had not expected the job he got or the place it was located. I guess we thought we'd live in a big city with a more glamorous job. But, in Jackson at the university, life was financially comfortable, socially uneventful, and slow. We had no idea how we'd get out of there with a "better" job somewhere else. But we knew we did not want to stay ANY longer than 5 years. Our attitude stunk in reality.

THEN we found THE church in Jackson and fell in love. We gained several more good friends and felt like we had family near us again...because the Body is our Family. We got to help plan our pre-married friends' wedding -- and that friendship morphed into an even better one as our lives were up to speed with each other. We got a "random" letter from the DoD that began Matt's security clearance process...and job transition. Meanwhile, God saw fit to use one of our good friends who happened to be an OB/GYN to advise us on my eye/headache issues, and the result was an unexpected baby on the way! We got word that Matt was officially accepted as a DoD employee, and moved within a few weeks from Tennesee to California.

So this year, I am a full-time stay at home wife-soon-mom with lots of time on my hands to relax and do whatever I wish around the house. Matt is a graduate student with every afternoon off which allows us LOTS of time together. We watch my belly grow every week, and feel the baby move every day, knowing we will hold it in a few months. A completely different life than last year.

The lessons we've learned:

1) God knows what HE is doing...our responsibility is to fit into His plan rather than seek our own. Living in Jackson allowed Matt ample opportunity to gain management, customer service, and problem solving skills. It opened our eyes to the fact that even Chrsitian organizations are nowhere near perfect, a motivation to NOT be blinded by rose colored glasses. Jackson taught us that there is no such thing as the Bible belt. It is more of a religion belt. Which brings us to our next lesson.

2) Christ's Church is a precious NECESSITY to the Christian life. Without it, you slowly starve from lack of good instruction and understanding of the Word, fellowship with other Believers, and support in all walks of life. Once we found ECC, we realized that the Body keeps you afloat in the deep waters of life. It refreshes your spirit and restores your soul to spend time with Brothers and Sisters who are LIKE-MINDED, to hear from Scripture rather than a preacher. We learned to not assume there will be several good churches to choose from wherever we go.

3) After we found ECC, the contentment lesson slowly started to take shape. Jackson wasn't so bad after all, in fact, it was comfortable in many ways! The blinders were lifted from our eyes and we saw that we really did have good co-workers, that it was a blessing to work at a Christian place rather than secular, that we had more than enough financially, and life could be lived very nicely because of what God had given us in life. We were close to both of our families and could plan many weekends to visit them. And after we learned to be content with God's plan, we learned that life takes on a much happier and satisfied tone.

4) We learned that God's timing is not our own...His is better. Those who are close to us know how long we waited in between phone calls or letters from the DoD. Those were HARD times. We desperately wanted to know when something would happen, if anything. Then we all saw how QUICKLY things happened after the long wait. The time crunch seemed impossible with paperwork due and moving to California imminent. God can say "Wait....waaaait....now GO!" and it will happen regardless of how it looks to us. The fact that I'm sitting in a wonderful apartment in Salinas while Matt is at class is proof of that.

5) We learned that God will provide for our every need no matter where we are located. Tennessee vs. California? Yeah, I'm sure you all can guess which ones is less comfortable financially. Not only did we see that we would have to get used to a more expensive standard of living, but we also had the looming knowledge of a baby on the way...which means more expenses. Trust. That is what it takes to step out in faith. Trust that this degree/job opportunity came from the Lord and that He would provide everything we need to get it done, baby and all. And we are still learning this lesson -- but in an amazed way. I have no idea if I have done anything differently or what, but food seems to be stretching beyond belief which means our grocery bill is much lower than anticipated. Somehow we keep ending up with much more at the end of each month than we thought we would. Praise the Lord! We don't care if we never find out how it's happened!

And after those five lessons and seeing how fast life can move in one year...we know that it isn't over yet! A baby will bring all sorts of new challenges, lessons, and blessings. Life will never be the same because a child adds a human being to a family, complete with a changing and growing personality and soul. And we know that our time here is temporary, both a sad and exhilerating thought. Come September 2007, we will have to say goodbye to the incredible church family we already have here...but we will be pressing on in this adventure God has planned for our lives. Maryland will be yet another new start in life for us...which makes three fresh starts in 3 years. Now if that's not a fast paced life, I don't know what is! I am just thankful that the pace of each day is relaxing while the years pummel forward.

Give thanks to the Lord...for He is good -- He blesses when we deserve nothing.

His lovingkindess is everlasting -- and His sovereignty is eternal lovingkindess.

Thank you, Father, for not letting us be in control. Our messy lives would only have a pointless Thanksgiving if it weren't for You!

When It Becomes More Real

Do you ever see a big event on the horizon but not understand the full reality at first? Then something occurs, something visible, that brings reality full force? Well, that has happened for Matt and I. We put together the nursery furniture on Saturday! It was an all day task that brought a little frustration, a lot of humor at ill-written instructions, and a lot of contemplative baby thoughts. I've even caught Matt (as well as myself) sometimes walking back there to just look at the room. I think I have a eensy-teensy glimpse of why Mary "pondered in her heart."

We can now walk in the room and see the place where a baby will be laying in March. We can pretend we're picking up the baby, just to see how it will feel to bend over the crib. We can see the place where many dirty diapers will be changed...where many nights will be spent a few hours at a time nursing and rocking the baby. We know what kind of soft light will be cast by the light. I even did a little silly demonstration for Matt of what it will be like for me to drag myself out of our bed, pick the baby up, change it, sit in the "glider" and nurse it/rock it back to sleep, put it back in the crib, then crash in our own bed again. Good laughs together...but it is REALITY. So fun and WONDER-full at the same time.

We love the color of the wood. We also went with cherry, but I really think it would have been too dark for our taste. Notice both quilt options are hanging on the crib. Pray that we'll get to have a little removal ceremony on Nov 30th when we are to find out what gender the baby is! If it is a girl, we will use the lavender quilt and put butterflies on the walls. If it is a boy, we will use the khaki Noah's ark quilt and put a rainbow above the crib and other colorful designs on the other walls. We still need the crib mattress and glider as well as all the baby linens and goodies. But those will come in time. God has been so faithful to provide even this furniture by way of some very special people who have the gift of generosity. You know who you are. ;-)

Matt said that he thinks it is neat how we can relate what we have just done to what Christ said to the Apostles, "I go to prepare a place for you." We have just prepared a place for our baby, and now we just await the day when we will live together as a family of three. Just like we wait for the day when we all will live together with Christ in the place He's prepared for us!

Quiet Wednesday

My sister is moving, so she won't be online until Friday. My mom is probably doing school with my little sister. Jaclyn hasn't e-mailed yet to say she's in a chat room. I'm not interested in the news this morning. I don't feel like listening to music. And I'm kinda tired still. Hence the title of this post.

Yesterday was a Titus 2sday at church, when alot of the women get together and fellowship. It was Christmas-oriented with a cheap/excellent gift wrapping demonstration and then a devotional on why we should make sure our Christmas traditions are meaningful. I think I said this in my last post. But I'm going somewhere with this. Well, three places actually.

1) I ride to and from church with Diane, the wife/mother of one of the three Salinas families that attend GBC. So we always have lots of time (1.5 hours) to talk while driving. She gave me a picture yesterday. It was one pose of Rachel (her adorable daughter) for her 1 year birthday mark. I was in shock. Remember back to the post I had about the doll I made her? Look. CAN NOT believe they actually had that doll in her milestone 1 year pictures. My mom was right when she said it is "such a compliment." Diane told me all over again how much Rich (her hubby) adores homemade stuff. God has been good to relieve my fears that they might think it was dumb or not treasure it as much as I hoped they would! It's humbling at the same time it boosts pride in what my hands have done. Humbling because I thought it was just a simple thing to do to save Matt and I money, try my hand at something new, and give a present to a sweet little girl. And now it is a cherished item. All I can rely on is that God knew what He was doing when He put the idea in my head to hand-make a doll specifically for a girl who's father considers things like that priceless. God cares about the smallest things!

2) One of the traditions the devotion lady talked about was how her family has collected Christmas books, one to be read on each of the 24 nights before Christmas. Not secular books...ones that speak of Christ's coming and our need for the Savior. She read one of her favorites to us called If You're Missing Baby Jesus. I think we were all fighting back tears by the end. It is a precious story...one I am considering adding to my Christmas list. It's about a family that buys a nativity set that has two baby Jesus' in it. The mother had the store owner post a sign saying "If your set is missing a Baby Jesus, call 7162." The set was never found, but a woman who had five children and a husband that left her (taking most of their belongings with him) called on Christmas Eve asking for help. She just knew that anyone who would post that sign would be "Good Christian people" willing to help her. So they went over to fix her furnace and ended up giving them blankets, cookies, milk, and the baby Jesus...then the dad goes out and gets some of his friends and they truck over a Christmas tree, some furniture they found, and clothes and linens from their own households. Punch line: "They need Baby Jesus just as much as we do." Find it and read it if you can!

3) I talked with Matt about Christmas traditions that I want to see implemented in our own family. That led me to think about when we will stay in our own home with our own tree ON Christmas Day. I see that day as a VERY long time from now, and I think that is because we are close to our families and our families are young. Therefore we will have somewhere to go for Christmas for quite some time. Doesn't bother me one bit! It makes me have a twinge of sadness to think of not going "home" for Christmas someday. But maybe by that day people will be coming to us for "home"! Anyway, I thought I'd tell you all the two traditions I treasure most from my family's Christmases. It might shock my mom...and that, agrees Matt, is exactly why I should let the world know! So she will know what she started in me though she might have thought I saw it as silly.
~ For as long as I can remember, we only got three presents every year. Why? Because Jesus got three presents from the wise men. As I thought about this, I realized that it really helped keep the materialism out of Christmas. Sure we enjoyed ripping open the packages and bows, seeing what new item we could play with or use. And the gifts got more expensive the older we got. But I never wanted more. It was an accepted tradition, and I always remembered the reason behind it. Because Baby Jesus only got three gifts. Why should I have more? I thought it was fun to get just three...not to mention it didn't take FOREVER to open gifts. I enjoy the family dinner JUST as much, if not more, than opening presents.
~ This will shock my mom, maybe. The other tradition that will be a must is the Pancake Birthday Cake for Jesus. My mom didn't start this until Autumn and I were pretty old and Hope was old enough to understand. Sure, it seemed silly on the surface. Having three pancakes that represent the Trinity, red hearts for each of us, red syrup for Christ's blood, white whipped cream for sins washed away, even lighting candles off of Christ's big white candle and singing Happy Birthday. But you know what? (All of the sudden I feel like I've told her this before.) I loved doing that. Even as a 23 year old with a husband and baby on the way, I'd love to do it this Christmas morning...extra family of Bruckmans and all. It is such a good way to set the tone of Christmas Day, of why we are even having a special day. As I look back, I remember how nice it was to get up to my mom making the pancakes knowing we were going to have breakfast as a family and read the Christmas story from Luke. We never RUSHED right into ravaging packages and going crazy with excitement, only to have it be over just like that and have to wait longer for family to arrive. It made the day seem much more relaxed and even-keeled. Contemplative in a way. It's hard to explain.

I'm gonna make a public appeal to my Momma - I know Christmas is on a Sunday this year and church starts at 10:00 am. I know we'll have 5 extra mouths to feed because Autumn and I have families now. But, you have three grandkids you can remind in a neat way on Christmas morning why we are celebrating on December 25th. And a daughter who misses that tradition and wants her husband to see it. If we start at 7:00, we can be done by 7:30 so everyone can start getting ready for church. Sure it's early. But I think it would be SO worth the memories...and starting off the day quietly as a bigger family this time with contemplation of Christ's birth and a tasty breakfast.

What say you?

Just Joy

Do you ever have days when you are just light hearted and full of unexplainable joy that puts a hop in your step? Today is a day like that for me. The weather is GORGEOUS in the 70's with a crystal blue sky. I got to spend the morning with the ladies at church hearing about cheap but awesome gift wrapping ideas (from Doreen) and then about how to make Christmas meaningful in the way it should be. Spending time with the ladies and meeting new ones was also wonderful. Then I got to share some ideas with Diane on the drive home about what she could make for her husband for Christmas, and got to show her...oh wait. I can't say that on my blog yet. ::pouty face:: There's gonna be major picture festage after Christmas...I'm so excited about what's going on in my little apartment.

All that to say...the joy comes from knowing all of these blessings -- even life itself -- comes from a God who loves me. Like Jaclyn said in an e-mail to me, we have the PRIVILEGE of knowing Him, talking to Him, and writing "letters" to Him (if you journal prayers). The God of the universe and we get to take a pen and paper and act as if He is our dearest Friends. Which He is. Simply a beautiful reality.

Maybe I'll lay out today. That sounds relaxing. :-)

More Random Ramblings

Mmm, one more cinnamon biscuit roll left. Guess what we'll be SPLITTING tomorrow morning. ;-)

Here is another room completely finished...the other bathroom. (You can click on the pictures to see them bigger.) You notice I attempted to piece together a panorama, mostly for blog-formatting-headache avoidance. Hopefully you'll get the hang of it.









And then to continue being random, here are the results of a personality quiz I took linked from Aut's blog...

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart. Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people. You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile. You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker. You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side. Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

Matt has already disagreed with the "dry humor." All I know is that I say things to not be funny and people laugh. I say things to be funny, and only I am laughing. Ya learn to live with it.

Well, I am fading quickly. I've done alot today - grocery shopping, Wal-Mart "Sheol Saturday" shopping (never again!), post office, crafting, cleaned both bathrooms, did a load of laundry, cooked dinner. My body is plum tuckered out and my back is sore. And church is tomorrow! I can't wait!

A Wonderful Day

So Matt had today off since he is a Federal employee and attends a Federal school. It was so splendid to have him here. We slept in until 9:00, and had a "brunch" of a new idea I had. Ya know? I don't know if it's pregnant creative brain or influences of Food Network, but I've been able to "wing" alot of things lately and it turns out well.

So this morning, I decided to "wing" cinnamon rolls. I call them Cinnamon Biscuit Rolls. I had a simple biscuit recipe that we love. Made the dough, spread it with a cinnamon filling concoction, stripped/rolled them, baked 'em, and then iced them. We LOVE LOVE them! They were not as sickenly sweet as regular cinnamon rolls, and the biscuit texture made them much lighter than the typical bread texture. For sure a keeper of a non-recipe recipe!

Then I hemmed a final pair of maternity pants, so hopefully I'll be done with chopping 3 inches off pairs of pants and then hemming them one more inch for a while. Then I went to Michael's to pick up a few things for a special present for Christmas. Wish I could tell you about it and post pictures. I'm so excited...but the recipients read this blog. ;-) While I worked on "it" this afternoon, Matt began working on his Enterprise model ship. It's gonna be so awesome! We're both excited about it! I can't wait until we have a house with an extra room to have an office. I've already told Matt it will be decorated for HIM...and that way we can have a place to display all of his cool models and satiate our futuristic side of style.

Then we went to Blockbuster (rented Center Stage 's cause Matt's never seen it and he said because he loves me, he'd watch a straight up chick flick) and Starbucks. Wanted to order a sugar-free low-fat decaf EGG NOG latte...forgot the sugar-free part. Tasted like it wasn't low-fat. Maybe it even had caffeine. Oh well. It was TASTY anyway! Matt said Center Stage had a good plot and helped it be a good movie even though it was all about dancing. ::sigh:: I love that movie! Totally took me back to high school. After the movie, we just kinda lounged around, read, and now I'm posting quite the detailed un-important post. But I feel like rambling. You obviously felt like reading. So it works out.

Oh, and during brunch and late-lunch, we watched deleted scenes/documentary on our Star Wars III DVD that we got for our date last week. It's amazing how much goes into a 1-minute fighting sequence. And did you know that some of the lava geysers in the fight scene between Obi and Anakin was REAL footage from Mount Etna going off in Italy? Cool.

Is it bad that I'm trying to think of something else to say just so I can keep "talking?" Maybe there was caffeine in that latte. But I had that hours ago. Now I've got indigestion from the hot dogs Matt and I just had as our very-late-dinner/snack. Oh, that's one more thing I can say. I think I've officially discovered that tomato products give me indigestion--from pizza to tomato soup to spaghetti. Tum-tum-tum-tum-TUUUUMS! Speaking of...

Ok fine. I leave you now. ::still thinking of something else to say...::

Thanks for Tagging me, Tracie

Ok, so Tracie tagged me with this blog game thing. This is going to be a brain cramper...I'm not very dynamic or weird in my opinion.

5 Weird Habits I Have

1)

::five minutes later:: Ok, I'm still thinking, I promise. Hey, Matt?.....

1) Is it weird to eat whipped cream and chocolate chips as a small snack?

2) Is saving original packaging and boxes for future repacking weird?

3) Is sticking my thumb in between my pointer and middle finger with my hand in a fist when I am emotionally disturbed weird? Thea has done that since she was a baby. If I got it from her, does it qualify as weird?

4) Is cooking nearly everything at home weird? Matt said if people who don't do that read this, it is weird to them.

5) HA! Is not HAVING any weird habits weird since apparently most people have them?

Please, if you read this and can think of an honest-to-goodness weird habit I have, let me know. Enlighten me to myself so I won't be stuck in the doldrums of "normal and uninteresting"...what with my lack of weirdness and void of hobbies.

By the way, this post took me 10 minutes to think through. And now it's got my heart all beating fast...or maybe that's the peppermint tea...or the cool whip and choco chips I just had.

Picture Requests

There've been several requests for certain pictures, so I thought I'd start fulfilling them as I can. Not gonna do too much as far as posting today. I'm feeling exhausted and it's only 9:15...in the morning. So I post, and then I nap.

This is the only picture I got of the pumpkin pie fiasco. Just the first batch so I could send the pic to Gramps and make sure they looked right. Now, imagine 24 more mini-pies, and then 24 regular muffin sized pies...which were all successfully eaten/doled out at last night's BBQ. But we still have about 36 mini-pies to ourselves. And like 2 and a half tubs of cool whip. :-P


This is a picture of our fall centerpiece. The older I get the more into decorating for the seasons I get. Maybe because I have a place of my own? Or maybe just because I enjoy it more? This was great because all we had to buy were the leaves and pumpkins, and they were on sale. I can't wait to create a Christmas centerpiece. I've already got several ideas I have to choose from...vase filled with ornaments like last Christmas, tiered candleabra with an ornament in each holder, a white basket full of ornaments and greenery, ornaments and candles... As you can see, the ornaments will mainly be displayed on the table. No sense in having a tree if we'll only be here for 14 days in December. But someday, by golly, we'll have our VERY OWN tree that we can decorate all our own and then have egg nog together. Hmm, just had a thought. Maybe we should have a tree next year even though we won't be here for Christmas...it'll be baby's first Christmas. But then, our families always have trees. ::sigh:: Someday. I'll have a tree to call my own.



This is our guest bathroom. Our bathrooms are the only two rooms that are completely finished (though we may not do anything else to the kitchen). I am so excited to have a bathroom with a big enough counter (and no towel rack above the toilet) to display my fishy stuff. Those who've known me a long time know that I had a fish themed room ever since the summer after 6th grade. I still have that bedding too. It's in good shape and I STILL love it! Now I can have a piece of it displayed all the time with our brightly colored bathroom. Autumn, I again thank you so so much for the set of colorful towels. I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do when they wear out. They match perfectly in color and design...and you can't find towels like that anymore!

Ok, so I wrote more than I thought I would. But now my heart is beating fast again and I feel like I could fall asleep right here at the computer.

So off to drink some water I go, and then a nap where crazy dreams will show.

Pumpkin Pie Fiasco

Ok, so this grand idea I had a few weeks back to make mini-pumpkin pies is...um...taking over my kitchen. So far I have made 48 mini-pumpkin pies, got desperate, and put a dozen regular muffin sized pies in the oven. I still have 2 inches to go of pumpkin batter in my LARGE mixing bowl.

These were supposed to be for Sunday night's small group BBQ. There are only about 10 of us. We'd all have to eat approx. 5 mini pumpkin pies and at least 1 small pumpkin pie each to take care of what I've done...........so far.

Note to family members who hold Gramps' pumpkin pie recipe - 2 regular sized pumpkin pies (which is what his recipe makes) will make enough mini or small pumpkin pies to CATER A FALL PARTY...or something! :-P

Perhaps this would be a good time to bless our neighbors' taste buds??? Oh my gosh. I just remembered these have to be refrigerated too.

::distraught:: Good thing Matt and I don't have a packed fridge since it's only two of us. But I still don't know if I'll have enough room..............

ADDENDUM - After one more batch of pie crust, I have perfectly finished off the pumpkin batter. Gramps' recipe makes 48 mini-muffin sized pies and 24 regular muffin sized pies. Glad I opted to start making the regular size...otherwise I'd have almost 100 mini pies sitting in my fridge! And I've only eaten four mini pies today... ::avoids eye contact:: And I'm sure Matt and I will have a regular one each after our date tonight. ::clears throat and nervously walks away::

Indian Summer

We're at the end of our Indian Summer here in Monterey. And the temperatures have risen to make it go out with a bang. Apparently this is what the weather is always like. One week it's sweaters, the next sleeveless shirts. And in the summer, it's usually overcast and cold in the morning, sunny and warm in the afternoon, and cold/overcast by 5:00 again. Diane said you can't go anywhere without a sweater that you may or may not need. :-P Should be fun.

Well, here's a recent pic of my growing belly... There is not much to update by way of pregnancy. The only issue I've been having is lower back pain, which several of us KNEW would happen because of family history and my loose joints that are now more loose because of pregnancy hormones. People have begun praying for more restful sleep at night, and that has happened the past two nights. Of course, the three hour nap Matt and I got yesterday afternoon helped with being rested! I had a girl tell me yesterday she thinks I'm having a boy because I'm carrying low for even a 5 month pregnancy. Don't know if that's true or not, but it was fun to have someone "predict with a reason." Jaclyn says it's a boy just because that's what she "feels." I used to "feel" it was a boy, but then sweet Rachel came into my life and now I think I secretly want a girl. Maybe I should just start thinking, "It doesn't matter as long as it's healthy"? ::sigh:: November 30th seems like so long from now!

Speaking of Rachel, her first birthday is tomorrow and we were invited to her b-day party last Saturday since I carry a future play mate. :-) I decided to cut down on cost, give myself something to do, challenge my skill, and most of all make something quite meaningful as a gift. Here are the results...

First is a picture of Diane, her daughter Rachel (the baby), and her grandaughter Lysette (Lee Lee for short).

Second is a picture of sweet Rachel. She has the LONGEST curled eyelashes, soft curly jet black hair, very dark eyes, and wears pink better than any other baby!

Then there are a few of the doll.























Hope you have a pleasant November day! Enjoy the gorgeous trees for me if you can!