Cory James Christopher Savary

It's startling to wake up to a phone call from your mom telling you that one of your cousins died unexpectedly during the night. Cory had been dealing with pneumonia, and it got the better of him.

Cory just turned 19 on Jan 7. I remember when he was little, you couldn't really communicate with him and he was not the most disciplined child. He was afflicted with autism and a few other things.

But that was then. As he grew older, and especially after being provided with the perfect care, he was only affected -- not afflicted.

This morning, Matt and I continued to lay in bed after I finished the call with my mom. I started thinking back over Cory's life, and could not help but smile and be in awe at how far he had come. He was night and day from the child he used to be. You could ask him questions, and he would understand and answer. He could tell you what he wanted, needed, or was excited about. His affection was very sweet and only increased in frequency and tenderness with age...though his hugs could still be bone crushing at times! His ability to do tasks became tremendous! I remember after Christmas dinner watching him faithfully clear the table. Not just a few things. He helped until the job was finished! I got very nervous when he picked up my mom's Christmas china gravy boat filled with gravy to carry it to the kitchen. There was no reason for me to be nervous -- he handled it perfectly. That's when I found out he'd actually been busing tables as a job in Conway where he lived (30 min from LR). Astounding!

I see it as God's grace in his life. Only with God's help and through His will was Cory able to overcome the mental blocks life had given him. It is God who provided the perfect circumstances for Cory to be able to live in Conway at a place he could thrive at. The perfect people to teach him skills and discipline. The perfect family who faithfully loved him and brought him home to LR for weekend vacations and family affairs -- to remind him he had a family that loved him dearly. It would be very easy for those like Cory to be overlooked and left by the wayside. But that was not God's plan for Cory's life. He is a precious part of our family; and, though he was just one person, he altered the dynamic of our family life.

I have a few fun memories of Cory:

~As I've said before, his bone crushing hugs! I am glad that Judah got squished by Cory at least once, though it did make me nervous to be hugged so hard while being pregnant!

~His insatiable love of toy snakes. He loved them and I think got them EVERY Christmas, birthday, or whatever gift-giving day in the year there is! I remember times when he'd pretend that one on the floor was real...or actually mistake it for being real. It was funny to participate with him (unless your realized his fear was real!).

~His tears whenever a saxophone would play. The first time I learned that he would lose it like a woman when a sax was heard was when the whole family was at Riverfront Park in LR for the 4th of July fireworks. The band started playing a slow blues-jazz selection, and he just started weeping. I believe it was Nonie who explained to me that he cried whenever a sax would play. I told Matt this morning that I STILL wonder what it was inside Cory that impacted him so greatly to hear that one particular instrument.

~His affection for Janet. Janet is a trooper! Not only did she immediately gain two sons when she married Skip, but she gained a son that had special needs. I remember watching her struggle to learn how to interact with him. It has been wonderful to watch their relationship grow and develop as Cory matured mentally and as Janet matured spiritually/maternally. It was precious to watch Cory always patting Janet's back, hugging her with BIG hugs, kissing her cheeks with wet kisses. I wonder just how much of his heart was taken up with love for her. :-) The picture above is of Janet helping Cory open his Christmas gift.

~His affection for...anyone! He always had a hug ready for any person that even minutely gestured for one.

~His facial expressions. Though he could not express every thought using words, you could totally tell what he was thinking. I think my favorite face of his was "Aww, come on" look which is similar to a rolling of the eyes. He'd look up and to the side while slightly closing his eyelids and give a pronounced sigh.

This being the first time a close member of the Savary side of the family has passed on has brought up quite the array of thoughts and feelings inside me. It is hard to be so far from home and family that it seems impossible (and probably is) for me to fly home, be with them, and attend the funeral. So many questions have run through my mind as well. The very FIRST thing I thought when I hung up with my mom was, "So can Nonie and Gramps still say they have 24 grandchildren?" I know the answer is yes. And I can still say I have 12 cousins (if I counted correctly). It just seems to make it a little more awkward, for lack of a better word.

And one of my more precious thoughts that creates in me a gentle grief all it's own is that I will only be able to teach Judah about Cory. I will only be able to give him the memories that I have of a cousin he can not see, but was hugged by.

It feels different to know that we are missing a member of the Slew. We are the closest family I have ever ever known -- and now we are down by one. A great reminder that life is fragile, and though we seem to be an invincible example of a family who adores each other, it doesn't mean all of us will be called Home at the same time.

Lucky duck. Maybe instead of clearing, he'll have the table set for all of us when we get there -- complete with rubber snake place cards and some soft jazz background music.