Last week was kinda rough on me because I felt like there were days I was doing so well spiritually but then all of the sudden would snap at the smallest thing. This weekend was very busy and stressful (in a good way), but I found myself not responding with my usual "on-top-of-it-all" and "roll-with-it" mentality. I was floundering on the inside, easily overwhelmed and frustrated, feeling like many things were getting the better of me -- like the serious lack of 9 month dresses at both Kohls and Target (as just one minor example). Or how about the two people that approached me at random in Kohls -- while I was frustratedly trying to locate just ONE 9 month dress -- to convince me that there are two images of God, male and female. Don't even get me started on the conversation that took place. Or the mix-up with Elijah's inhaler medication, which meant my very first time to be truly anxious about his night coughing knowing I had no albuterol to give him. I could give you a long list of things that I felt didn't go well for me this past week and weekend. But I won't. I'll just focus on why I felt like a little mouse trying to stay afloat in a raging river. And one analogy that became precious to me in my weakest moment last evening. Hormones. Ugh! It's been a long time since I've had to undergo the normal routine of the ever fluctuating female hormones. The farther Eden's birth plummets all too quickly into the past, the closer my body is to being back to it's normal mode of operation. And I don't think I'm ready to battle the moodiness, the quick temper, the pin-drop tears. (I mean, come on. Colts' Collie got injured and lay on the field not moving for a minute or so -- and I found myself quite choked up with tear-filled eyes. It was all I could do to not melt down!) I may not be ready, but the Spirit within me is ready to help me relearn how to fight this battle as it comes round and round again for years to come. That is a great comfort to me. And you wanna know what else is a great comfort to me?
My hubby. Last night, I came VERY close several times to cancelling my attendance at a ladies' cookie exchange. All who know me know that it would be extremely unusual for me to 1) not attend a social event, 2) not show up to something I committed to, 3) not take cookies I've already baked to share with others, and 4) cancel at the very last minute. But I came oh-so-close. Even while driving to the party, I came dangerously close to turning around and going home. I hated my cookies. I knew my home was a "wreck" (though I'm assured that's not possible...by other people). I missed my husband since we'd had such a busy weekend. I just wanted to be with him. Even if we were straightening, cleaning, and having a financial meeting, I just wanted to be with him. My Love. The man who brings me much comfort, laughter, security, warmth, and the like. He makes everything seem all right even if there is much turmoil within. (Boy, I'm getting all choked up again.) My hubby is my compassionate companion who gives of himself for me.
And then I got a double dose thought...
How utterly beautiful that my husband serves as an analogy of Christ. Christ is the ultimate Groom. The best Comforter. The One who has given me this abundant life. The One who has made all things right with my soul despite the turmoil it feels. He's the One who holds me eternally secure in the warmth of His embrace. He compassionately accompanies me on this journey through life -- which includes the rough spots. He gave His life so that winning the battles with my flesh is even possible!
God has given me both! An earthly husband AND a heavenly Husband. A double blessing and sure-fire aid during my weakest moments as a woman. Will I still have to do battle over and over again? You betcha!! But praise be to God for the reminder that I am not alone spiritually or physically. I've got two companions to cover both those bases!
To finish the story, I did end up going to the cookie exchange and had a pleasant time. Precious moments were shared with a dear friend as I was finally able to see and hold mementos of Eden's heavenly friend Avery. Excitement was shared as we learned of a new life on the way for another friend. Bittersweetness was also shared. Praise the Lord He made us to be relational. Friends do wonders for the soul. And when I got home -- the kitchen, dining room, living room, and bedroom were all spotless, Christmas cards hung, chandelier reworked to be much better looking... Like I said. God has given me a companion who knows how to ease my battle. What a blessing!
