The Time Has Come

Monday is a big day. A day of joyous "hello" and bittersweet "goodbye."

We say a joyous "hello" to our daughter Eden! What a change this will bring to our home. She makes our kid-count three, what we've heard to be the hardest transition in a family's life. She is a...she! That in itself is a major shift in thinking for all of us. Different colors, more clothes and accessories, different diaper changes... But we are excited to welcome her. Our hearts are more than ready though our brains are still trying to comprehend how this transition is going to happen!

We say a bittersweet "goodbye" to our childbearing. This is something I had to come to grips with before we even got pregnant with Eden, that my hubby had a strong preference we stop having biological children at three due to increased risks with repeat c-sections. It was a long two months of praying, soul searching, motive evaluating, and counsel seeking. But God was faithful to answer, reveal, and provide. My heart moved in line with my husband's compassionate and wise desire to protect his wife, and it has remained at peace since then. But I knew as delivery drew near with our third child, the bittersweet moments would increase. I'll never have a pregnant belly again. Never feel a baby moving inside my womb. Never again go through one of the most incredible Creation processes that can ONLY point to an amazing Creator. But God is good to provide positives in my thinking to counteract the bittersweetness. Better motivation to get and stay in shape knowing pregnancy will no longer hinder nor help me. Clear focus on raising three children for a good chunk of years. Intimacy for the sole purpose of intimacy, free from planning and wondering (one of the reasons we chose to stack our childbearing at the beginning of marriage). Yes, it's bittersweet. But praise the Lord for peace within that emotion.

And praise the Lord that, though we are done being pregnant, we are not done having children. Somewhere, someday, we pray that He will guide us to one more precious Arrow to welcome into our family as a picture of what He has done for us.

We have been fruitful and multiplied. He has filled our quiver with blessings. He has built our house. And we will continue to step out in faith, believing that He is guiding us in these major life events and decisions.

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of carrying three of your creations within me. Thank you for allowing me to be a woman and experience Your miraculous creation of the childbearing process. I will treasure it always. May You be my Strength as I now must carry myself with strength and dignity knowing I will not bear children again. May You cause me to continually smile at the future when, if You are willing, we bring home a fourth child to raise for Your glory.